I haven’t met people who don’t complain about their mother-in-laws. Very few women claim that their mother-in-law has been a lovely person who isn’t demanding and is friendly. Mother-in-laws who are kind and understanding of their daughters-in-laws are rare. The majority of us don’t belong to the fortunate group of mothers-in-law with mother-in-law laws who do not smother their children. It can be difficult to handle them when there are children. Here are 6 tips to help mothers manage their difficult mother-in law:
- It is crucial to understand and believe that you’re the ideal mother for your child regardless of what other people are telling you. The difficult mother-in-laws love of criticizing you and tell you (or signalling to you via your actions) that you’re not fit for the job (of being a mother) in a way or another. But, you must not be afraid to believe in yourself. Because God gave you this child, He has realized that you’re the best mother your child could ever be Therefore, why should anyone ever tell you the opposite? So, don’t doubt yourself, ever
- It is essential for us to remain as separate from our mothers-in-law as we can. If your mother-in-law believes that you can’t be without her, she’ll be inclined to take over. This could mean that you don’t ask for help due to convenience. It may be a matter of doing all by yourself or enlisting the help of family members or friends (or employing one) instead. It is crucial that you don’t show you’re insecure, aren’t sure of the things you’re doing, or you’re not capable of handling the situation. We should not pretend to be supermoms but when you’re in front of your mother-in-law’s difficult daughter, you’ll need to be they will expect that from you (unfortunately) because they consider themselves to be supermoms. The moral of the tale is to stay clear of getting assistance from your mother-in-law.
One of the best ways to manage your mother-in law’s problems is to ask your husband be with you, and get him to handle your mother-in law. Discuss with your husband what your feelings are about situation. Ask him to comprehend the situation and empathize with your feelings. Your husband should defend your safety, and lead your family. He must remind his wife to allow you to run your own household and children. He must assist his mother in recognizing that she was already taking her own role as a child and now it’s your responsibility to look after your children.
Any time you are able to, be as assertive as you can with your mother-in-law who is difficult to please and inform her that you’ll be able to handle it, or are looking to be the one who takes over the kids. It’s more difficult to do than it sounds however, you have get up and be able to say no instead of trying to bury all the things inside and remain at a distance. It’s better to inform her that you’re able to handle it yourself when you’re at peace and calm instead of saying it when you can’t manage the hurt for long and then have an angry outburst.
- It might be helpful to understand that your mother-in law who was difficult has been difficult for an explanation. There are probably a lot of personal issues which she isn’t willing to acknowledge and confront them. Don’t blame her. It’s likely that she isn’t enjoying herself as she creates a lot of stress for you. She’s likely to be passing on her issues to you. Try not to be contaminated and let her negative feelings to affect you.
Finally, if you’re living with your mother-in-law , get her out. The more she is aware of the events in your household and how much she’s tempted to be in charge. Therefore, the best approach is to inform her of as little as you can. Even if you need to move a couple of rooms away, it’s nevertheless better than staying in the same home with her. It’s a relief to not have your mother-in law scrutinize (and critique) every single thing you do, or all that you do. If she doesn’t have a clear view of everything that goes on, the desire to have her take over is less because she won’t see as many flaws that she has to address. She won’t know the number of times your baby cry that day, for instance. It is possible that she will want to come into your home like it’s hers, but when this occurs, you’ll have to collaborate together with your husband to figure out ways to keep her entertained with other activities.
I believe we need to put aside the notion that we’ll someday enjoy the perfect mother-daughter bond with our mothers-in-law, as it isn’t likely to happen. We have diverse backgrounds, cultures and opinions, and it’s extremely difficult for two women who haven’t decided to live together (well because you were married to your husband, not your mother-in law) to be able to work together. If your mother-in-law is difficult and doesn’t accept your character, maintaining a away from her may be the best and most effective solution.